


I'm your bitch

by tiredshimakei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, No Happy Ending Fest, Unrequited Love, devastated tsukki, just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24396136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiredshimakei/pseuds/tiredshimakei
Summary: I didn't edit this and the conclusion is ass
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	I'm your bitch

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't edit this and the conclusion is ass

Tsukishima rarely gets nervous. He was the apathetic one. His expression rarely broke unless it was to tease someone else. He kept his feelings under tight wraps. It was just easier that way. He didn’t get hurt and it was worth the lack of emotional connection in his life. 

Yet one person still managed to wiggle his way past Tsukishima’s cold exterior. He reached his soft middle that longed for tangled limbs under blankets and kisses on the nose. His heart was a mess of brambles and vines. It was a poorly tended garden but this one person found beauty in weeds, which made Tsukki feel that maybe he could be beautiful too. 

Yamaguchi. 

Tsukishima could barely stand it. He made plans to come hang out with Yamaguchi today, after sitting on his confession for years now. Surprisingly, Yamaguchi had something to confess as well and it made Kei flustered to think his feelings were going to be reciprocated. They had been friends for years, if anyone understood Kei’s prickly exterior it was Tadashi. They spent hours laying in bed next to each other sharing secrets, legs brushing together. If Tsukishima was reading the signs correctly, and he was certain he was as he spent hours researching on the internet, then Tadashi must return his feelings. 

Kei frowned and chided himself for being such a sappy romantic. Today he would finally confess. Him. The notoriously salty and bitter Tsukishima Kei. He stepped up to Tadashi’s porch and slid his headphones down to hang around his neck. He spent a long time internet surfing on how to confess properly. He made a mixtape for Yamaguchi on Spotify for them to listen to afterwards. Tsukishima reassured himself with memories of their time together that were surely leading up to this. The tall blonde knocked on the door and stood patiently. Actually he slouching slightly, as he tended to do to properly give off his devil-may-care attitude. The weight of not caring being quite the burden on his lithe frame. His cheeks and nose were tinged pink and a hot twisted knot of excitement and nervousness rested heavy in his stomach.

The door opened and Tsukishima sucked in a breath. Yamaguchi was beautiful. His skin had a soft sunkissed glow that was accentuated by the scattering of freckles on his face. Tsukki spent countless nights in bed fantasizing about kissing every freckle. 

“Oh hey Tsukki.” Yamaguchi greeted him from the doorway. 

Kei tried to not seem nervous. He feigned his standard apathetic attitude and rested a hand on the strap of his backpack. 

“Hello Tadashi, “ Kei responded, cocking his head slightly and looking down at him, “Are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna let me in?” He scoffed playfully.

Yamguchi blushed and nodded nervously, “O-oh right, sorry Tsukki! Come in.” 

Tsukishima walked in and kicked his shoes off before setting his bag against the wall. His heart was pounding but he wanted to get this over with. He wanted the relief and comfort he believed would come after. 

“We can talk in my room Tsukki.” Yamaguchi prompted looking flighty. Kei nodded and followed him to his bedroom. Tadashi’s room was cute. His comforter was an off white but piled with soft fluffy green and blue blankets. It was a comfort to be in here, and was one of Tsukishima’s favorite places to study.

“What are you so nervous for?” Kei commented glancing at Tadashi before sitting down on his bed.

“I-i’m not.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. He knew Tadashi well enough to tell he looked like was gonna bolt any second. No mind. Nothing could deter him from his goal today.

“I wanted to talk to you...about something I’ve felt for awhile.” Kei started. He felt the nerves creeping up now. Tadashi was looking even more fidgety and wouldn’t even sit beside him in bed. 

Kei pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose then stood up before continuing.

“I love you.” He said firmly. “I’ve loved you for years. I love you so much it hurts. I know that I act like I don’t care about anything and that may be true but I know for certain, that I care for you. “ Kei glanced at Tadashi who was standing still, pale and eyes wide. It was silent for a long time. Tsukishima’s heart was thumping hard in his chest and he could feel heat in his ears and cheeks.

Tadashi chewed on his lip and looked...guilty? He looked up at Kei with pity and worry swirling in his eyes. No. He had to be reading that wrong.

“I’m dating Yachi. We’ve been together for a few months now actually…” Yamaguchi trailed off and looked away uncomfortably, “I never told you, because I suspected you had feelings for me...and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

Kei has felt disappointment before in his life. Specifically referring to his brother and his volleyball team. He has never felt disappointment like this. This disappointment was like a blizzard. It was a vicious mix of his pride being wounded, betrayal from his closest friend, and most of all unrequited love. Yamaguchi knew. He knew. Tsukishima was so obvious. He felt embarrassment burn through all those feelings like a wildfire though. To be so openly rejected at his most vulnerable, and while he was down for Yamaguchi to have pitied him. To have attempted to save his feelings by lying to his face. He knew he loved him. Longed for him.

Then Kei felt cold. Ice settled in his bones and chilled his blood. He took a breath and laughed cruelly. The only way he could get over this blistering humiliation was to retaliate. To burn this bridge completely.

“Oh wow you sacrificed so much for me Tadashi. How could I ever repay you?” He scoffed.

Tadashi looked up at him, pale and wide eyes. He attempted to stammer something out but Kei cut him off, “I don’t need your pathetic excuses or your pity. Save it for someone who gives a fuck.”

Tsukishima glanced around the room once more before turning and leaving before Yamaguchi could say anything else that would break his heart. His eyes burned briefly, threatening to spill but he cooled his expression and stumbled into his shoes before leaving.

His chest felt cold and lifeless like a morgue. The garden in his heart that he once thought was so beautiful was nothing but a patch of weeds. He should have recognized the signs. A few months ago Yamguchi’s face was freshly unwrapped to reveal one month lovers glow and sugar sweet first kisses. 

Tsukishima walked outside and absently raised his hand to his lips, running his fingertips over the skin. He imagined and reimagined countless times, his first kiss with Tadashi. He was expecting to taste the stars ons Yamaguchi’s tongue. He wanted to bask in his sun kissed glow. Now he wanted to eulogize the romance that never was. A love unrequited.

A horrible sick feeling bubbled out of Tsukishima in the form of a choked sob. His body burned and his head throbbed. The pain he felt was suffocating. He lost Yamaguchi. He lost. Kei dropped to the ground on the side of the road and burst into full body sobs. His throat clenched around thick tears and his glasses sat askew on his nose.

What did he do wrong. 

Everything hurt so much. His whole body felt searing pain. Is this love? This awful sick feeling. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked back, his eyes puffy and nose swollen and red from sobbing on the street. 

Tadashi stood there looking ashamed. 

“Tsukki...I’m sorry.”

Tsukishima stood up quickly and threw his hand off him.

“Don’t call me that.” He said icily. “You don’t get to call me that.”

Yamaguchi gaped at him looking unbelievably uncomfortable. Every second that past created a mile long distance between them. Years of friendship and memories being burned into ash.

“You knew?” Tsukishima spat out angrily. His apathetic demeanor long gone.

“You knew I loved you. You knew this whole fucking time, Leave me alone!” He was making a scene and he didn’t care

To anyone else confessing and being rejected may have not of been as big of a deal. Tsukki felt betrayed. Every moment he spent with Yamaguchi leading up to this had him convinced of a sweet summer romance. Yamaguchi knew how Kei felt and continued to touch him, stand by him, listen to him without a single word. It was beyond humiliating. And above all. Above fucking all. He lied to his face about Yachi. He was with her this whole time.

Yamaguchi stood still and stared up at Kei. His eyes were wide and watery. The blonde’s tongue was heavy in his mouth, felt bloated like day old roadkill.

“Leave.” He said hoarsely. 

Tadashi must’ve finally realized there was nothing he could do to amend this, hesitantly he turned away after mumbling out another apology. Kei stood and watched him turn away before wiping his eyes on his sleeve. 

Love fucking sucked. It hurt like a fucking bitch.


End file.
